"Where are we?" is a "hidden" audio log among a trio of human and robot corpses, on a balcony-seating section of the movie theater on the Executive level of Citadel Station. The log is an easter egg, and cameo for Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett, and Michael Nelson: three starring actors from the long-running sci-fi movie comedy review show Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K).
| System Shock (Remake) − Audio Log | ||
| From | Murphy, Kevin |  |
| Subject | Where are we? | |
| Date | OCT 18, 2072 | |
| Recipient | N/A | |
| Level | 6 - Executive | |
| Location | Delta Quadrant; Movie Theater; on the balcony overlooking the theater, only accessible using turbo-motion boots. | |
| Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is this thing on? Breaker, breaker good buddy! Kevin, what the hell are you doing?! Here they come again! Well, I think this thing is a transmitter, or a recorder? Anyway its [sic] really cool looking! I think it has Dolby? Would you put that down?! Theres [sic] like twelve zombie guys and they look really hungry! Im [sic] comin Mike! [Gunfire] Come on, you chunks of gristle, you want a piece of me?! To anyone who can hear me… Im [sic] Kevin Murphy, Im [sic] with Mike Nelson and, um… Bob- Bill! Oh yeah! Bill Corbett. Really?! You’ve known me for like thirty years! Sorry, I panicked! Anyway, long story short… We were in our studio at Rifftrax Headquarters when suddenly we were transported to this weird space station. Bill and I have been turned into robots, apparently some kind of cruel reference to our former job. Bill! Behind you! Wow, cool they blow up! Yeah, I know… theyre [sic] like Meat-bombs! Actually kinda fun! Uh oh, Im [sic] out of ammo. Oh Doggone it, now two of them grabbed me! Im [sic] coming Miiike! Could you hurry? Cause theyre [sic] eating my arm! This part is NOT fun. Haha! Die you ugly Lardon! Thats [sic] right! That’s right, I called you a crispy piece of rendered pork fat! I think youre [sic] just making them hungrier, Bill… Yep, yeah, th-theyre [sic] started in on my thigh. Ouch. Well start eating them back or something! What can I tell ya? If anyone can hear this, please send help! I think were [sic] done for, and I cant [sic] help but thinking that were [sic] just, I dunno… …characters in some elaborate game. Okay, theyre [sic] eating my head. WOW that hurts! MIIIIIIKE!!! You don’t have to yell, Im [sic] right next to you. Oh, sorry… miiiike. Doh, now theyve [sic] got me! Gargh! Me too! I think were [sic] goners, fellas! This is it! I LOVE YOU MIKE! Thats [sic] nice, Kevin… AAAAARRRRGGGH! I LOVE YOU BILL! OKAY, BUT HONESTLY I’VE NEVER BEEN TERRIBLY FOND OF-AAAARRRRGH! Huh, you think you know people! Anyway… AAAARRRGGH!! | ||
| System Shock (Remake) − Audio Log | ||
| From | Murphy, Kevin |  |
| Subject | Where are we? | |
| Date | OCT 18, 2072 | |
| Recipient | N/A | |
| Level | 6 - Executive | |
| Location | Delta Quadrant; Movie Theater; on the balcony overlooking the theater, only accessible using turbo-motion boots. | |
| Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is this thing on? Breaker, breaker good buddy! Kevin, what the hell are you doing?! Here they come again! Well, I think this thing is a transmitter, or a recorder? Anyway its [sic] really cool looking! I think it has Dolby? Would you put that down?! Theres [sic] like twelve zombie guys and they look really hungry! Im [sic] comin Mike! [Gunfire] Come on, you chunks of gristle, you want a piece of me?! To anyone who can hear me… Im [sic] Kevin Murphy, Im [sic] with Mike Nelson and, um… Bob- Bill! Oh yeah! Bill Corbett. Really?! You’ve known me for like thirty years! Sorry, I panicked! Anyway, long story short… We were in our studio at Rifftrax Headquarters when suddenly we were transported to this weird space station. Bill and I have been turned into robots, apparently some kind of cruel reference to our former job. Bill! Behind you! Wow, cool they blow up! Yeah, I know… theyre [sic] like Meat-bombs! Actually kinda fun! Uh oh, Im [sic] out of ammo. Oh Doggone it, now two of them grabbed me! Im [sic] coming Miiike! Could you hurry? Cause theyre [sic] eating my arm! This part is NOT fun. Haha! Die you ugly Lardon! Thats [sic] right! That’s right, I called you a crispy piece of rendered pork fat! I think youre [sic] just making them hungrier, Bill… Yep, yeah, th-theyre [sic] started in on my thigh. Ouch. Well start eating them back or something! What can I tell ya? If anyone can hear this, please send help! I think were [sic] done for, and I cant [sic] help but thinking that were [sic] just, I dunno… …characters in some elaborate game. Okay, theyre [sic] eating my head. WOW that hurts! MIIIIIIKE!!! You don’t have to yell, Im [sic] right next to you. Oh, sorry… miiiike. Doh, now theyve [sic] got me! Gargh! Me too! I think were [sic] goners, fellas! This is it! I LOVE YOU MIKE! Thats [sic] nice, Kevin… AAAAARRRRGGGH! I LOVE YOU BILL! OKAY, BUT HONESTLY I’VE NEVER BEEN TERRIBLY FOND OF-AAAARRRRGH! Huh, you think you know people! Anyway… AAAARRRGGH!! | ||
| System Shock (Remake) − Audio Log | ||
| From | Murphy, Kevin |  |
| Subject | Where are we? | |
| Date | OCT 18, 2072 | |
| Recipient | N/A | |
| Level | 6 - Executive | |
| Location | Delta Quadrant; Movie Theater; on the balcony overlooking the theater, only accessible using turbo-motion boots. | |
| Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is this thing on? Breaker, breaker good buddy! Kevin, what the hell are you doing?! Here they come again! Well, I think this thing is a transmitter, or a recorder? Anyway its [sic] really cool looking! I think it has Dolby? Would you put that down?! Theres [sic] like twelve zombie guys and they look really hungry! Im [sic] comin Mike! [Gunfire] Come on, you chunks of gristle, you want a piece of me?! To anyone who can hear me… Im [sic] Kevin Murphy, Im [sic] with Mike Nelson and, um… Bob- Bill! Oh yeah! Bill Corbett. Really?! You’ve known me for like thirty years! Sorry, I panicked! Anyway, long story short… We were in our studio at Rifftrax Headquarters when suddenly we were transported to this weird space station. Bill and I have been turned into robots, apparently some kind of cruel reference to our former job. Bill! Behind you! Wow, cool they blow up! Yeah, I know… theyre [sic] like Meat-bombs! Actually kinda fun! Uh oh, Im [sic] out of ammo. Oh Doggone it, now two of them grabbed me! Im [sic] coming Miiike! Could you hurry? Cause theyre [sic] eating my arm! This part is NOT fun. Haha! Die you ugly Lardon! Thats [sic] right! That’s right, I called you a crispy piece of rendered pork fat! I think youre [sic] just making them hungrier, Bill… Yep, yeah, th-theyre [sic] started in on my thigh. Ouch. Well start eating them back or something! What can I tell ya? If anyone can hear this, please send help! I think were [sic] done for, and I cant [sic] help but thinking that were [sic] just, I dunno… …characters in some elaborate game. Okay, theyre [sic] eating my head. WOW that hurts! MIIIIIIKE!!! You don’t have to yell, Im [sic] right next to you. Oh, sorry… miiiike. Doh, now theyve [sic] got me! Gargh! Me too! I think were [sic] goners, fellas! This is it! I LOVE YOU MIKE! Thats [sic] nice, Kevin… AAAAARRRRGGGH! I LOVE YOU BILL! OKAY, BUT HONESTLY I’VE NEVER BEEN TERRIBLY FOND OF-AAAARRRRGH! Huh, you think you know people! Anyway… AAAARRRGGH!! | ||
Detailed Transcript[]
Kevin Murphy: Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is this thing on? Breaker, breaker good buddy! I c-
Bill Corbett: Kevin, what the hell are you doing?!
Mike Nelson: Here they come again!
Kevin Murphy: Well, I think this thing is a transmitter, or a recorder? Anyway it’s really cool looking! I think it has Dolby?
Bill Corbett: Would you put that down?!
Mike Nelson: There's like twelve zombie guys and they look really hungry!
Bill Corbett: I’m comin’ Mike! [Gunfire] Come on, you chunks of gristle, you want a piece of me?!
Kevin Murphy: To anyone who can hear me: I’m Kevin Murphy, and I’m with Mike Nelson and, um… Bob-
Bill Corbett: Bill!
Kevin Murphy: Oh yeah! Bill Corbett.
Bill Corbett: Really?! You’ve known me for like thirty years!
Kevin Murphy: Sorry, I panicked! Anyway, long story short: We were in our studio at Rifftrax Headquarters when suddenly we were transported to this weird space station. Bill and I have been turned into robots; apparently some kind of cruel reference to our former job.
Mike Nelson: Bill! Behind you!
[Sound of fighting]
Bill Corbett: Wow, cool; they blow up!
Mike Nelson: Yeah, I know. They're like meat-bombs! Actually kinda fun! Uh oh, I’m out of ammo. Oh doggone-it, now two of them grabbed me!
Bill Corbett: I’m coming Miiike!
Mike Nelson: Could you hurry, ‘cause they're eating my arm? This part is NOT fun.
Bill Corbett: Haha! Die you ugly lardon! That’s right! That’s right, I called you a crispy piece of rendered pork fat!
Mike Nelson: I think you’re just making them hungrier, Bill… Yep, yeah, they started in on my thigh. Ouch.
Bill Corbett: Well start eating them back or something! What can I tell ya?
Kevin Murphy: If anyone can hear this, please send help! I think we’re done for, and I can't help but thinking that we're just - I dunno - characters in some elaborate game.
Mike Nelson: OK, they’re eating my head. WOW that hurts!
Bill Corbett: MIIIIIIKE!!!
Mike Nelson: You don’t have to yell, I’m right next to you.
Bill Corbett: Oh, sorry. (whispering) Miiiike. Doh, now they've got me!
Kevin Murphy: Gargh! Me too! I think we're goners, fellas! This is it! I LOVE YOU MIKE!
Mike Nelson: That's nice, Kevin… AAAAARRRRGGGH!
Kevin Murphy: I LOVE YOU BILL!
Bill Corbett: OK, BUT HONESTLY I’VE NEVER BEEN TERRIBLY FOND OF-AAAARRRRGH!
Kevin Murphy: Huh, you think you know people! Anyway… AAAARRRGGH!!
Trivia[]
- At 2 minutes and 22 seconds, this is the longest audio log in the System Shock Remake.
- Acquiring this log will unlock the "In the Not Too Distant Future" achievement/trophy.